Friday, March 26, 2010

Monday, February 15, 2010

ellipsis period ellipsis

unfocused.animal.broken. fallen.murderous.death.penance.hope.

nigh engineer

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Yes, this has been long overdue. And Guru and I are totally FED up of people asking us these questions again and again, also mostly because they forget the answers. Anyway, here is a quick reference for all those facts that are important for you to live your life.

You are here. "DON'T PANIC"
Q. Where can I find life-changing, thought-provoking stuff to read on the internet?

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. It wanted to be in the tandoor, with other chicken.

Q. How much is 1+1?
A. 2

Q. Why is this blog on a different account, and not made the usual way, with both of us being team members v1.0?
A. Guru made the blog. And this method works.

Q. Who is the Diva?
A. Uncle. (diva-walk=uncle walk, diva-speak=uncle speak, etc)

Q. Why do you put such stuff up?
A. Because we can.

Q. Did Guru ever set his hair on fire?
A. Yes.

Q. Why is this blog on a different account, and not made the usual way, with both of us being team members v1.1?
A. Because we did not want people to know who we are.

Q. Why did the bystander mention fashion industry when de Sa escaped a tricky situation?
A. Because Rohit Bal Bal bacha.

Q. Why did Popat shut his eyes?
A. He didn't want to hear the foul-mouthed barrage, emanating from a source nearby.

Q. Why are FAQs asked so frequently?
A. Because otherwise, they would not be Frequently Asked Questions, and as this contradicts, FAQs are asked very frequently.

Q. Which direction does the sun rise in?
A. East, for most of the world, although it rises in the North (for 6 months) and in the South (for the other 6 months) above the Arctic Circle.

Q. Why is this blog on a different account, and not made the usual way, with both of us being team members v1.2?
A. So that the anti-janitors' league does not find Guru.

Q. Did Guru ever have a sticker saying "I am (G)Guru" on his back for more than 20 minutes?
A. Yes.

Q. Did Guru ever have a sticker saying "I am (G)Guru" on his back for more than 20 minutes, and then another one saying "aka ze YO maan!" for some 5 minutes?
A. Yes.

Q. Did Guru realize he had those on for about 20 minutes before saying that one needed to be really stupid to not realize he's got stickers on his back?
A. No.

Q. What is the Popathood?
A. Collection of Parrots, and other related species (like resistors, capacitors, confused(s) and random guys.)

Q. How many people has Pranshu killed while driving?
A. Technically, none. Yet.

Q. native joke: "Do chicken daale tandoor mein, dono achchhe se pak gaye. Kaunsa gana baj raha tha background mein?"
A. Ta tananana tandoori delights tandoori delights.

Q. How many links (refer to the joke theory) does the joke above have?
A. 2.

Q. Who are the members of the soon-to-be-legendary-(after-Waves-Winters-2009)-band, !Ocean-rrr?
A. Pranshu - singer + clicker, Abhinand - laugh-artist, Uncle - bassist, Sandy - treblist, Guru - shooter + choreographer. Support staff: Gill - Officially official photographer, Juthika - Official audience.

Q. How do you pronouce the exclamation sign in the name of the band?
A. "tk". If you want a live demo, please visit Africa.

Q. Who does Nalini currently hate the most?
A. Her PS2 instructor.

Q. What is so confusing about OK?
A. If you write it as KK, it might be confused for a proper noun.

Q. What is the new proposed amendment into the joke theory?
A. Inclusion of a PD (boolean) constant (after Pralav 'Darling') that if asserted, makes a joke follow exponential distribution of the number of links.

Q. What is the difference between Abhinand and Sohini?
A. One laughs in continuous streams, the other in short bursts.

Q. What is the difference between Abhinand and Aniket?
A. 42.

Q. Who is the best original king of 'em all?
A. King Julian.

Q. How long is 12 inches?
A. 12 inches.

This long list, by no means is exhaustive. Kindly add more FAQs to help the readers.

Serving the humanity, (I mean, after all, its the jeeniuses who really do think about the welfare of the mankind.)

For Sirtifyd Jeeniuses 1 & 2,

Sirtifyd Jeenius 1.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

numero uno's back!

Been a long long time since I posted stuff up here. IM BACK.... muhuhahahahah (evil chuckle followed by baring of fangs)

There'd be lotsa genius philosophy splashed all over this page now from our Goa Headqtrs. Phoren Correspondent had changed the password you see :P

Anyways, so here eet eej. Aaj ki taaza khabar:

1. Sirtifyd Jeenious number 2 is getting a saxie bike. An increse in the sale of zebra-tart and chocolate-muffins and other monginis perishables/goods in the months of January expected. A prominent decrease in the weight of Guru's wallet is predicted, owing to the trickle down effect of the bike-buying.

2. Yesterday we had confirmed reports of effigy burning and slogan shouting happening outside the gates of BITS, Pilani - Goa Campus regarding some 'Human Rights issue' as alleged by the NGO involved in the stone-throwing mode of fighting for human rights. Details Awaited.

3. ID numbers have been changed to 12-digit ones now, that is from 200xPyPSzzz to 200xAyPSzzzG, and 200xSyPSzzz to 200xByPSzzzG for Goa Campus. This change has led to a new development in the field of google-talk status messages. Statistics tell us that about 43.57% of the people on an average gtalk-list have messages relating to this change. This change has also invoked mixed reactions from the public.

Those were the top stories from Goa HQ. Back to our Phoren Correspondent, who right now is at Tata Motors, Pune, allegedly doing some 'work'.

SJ numba 1.

Comprehending Reality...

since ive already written a lotta serious posts, heres one thats on the lighter side...

it is an intellectual fallacy to believe that knowledge is gained by experience. infact there is really no substitute for a superior imagination. the predicament with imagination is that the word has lost its meaning and has become synonymous with neverneverland. a good imagination does not mean you should be able to concoct a world like potters, what it really means is that you should be able to manipulate(in ur mind) your surroundings in a way that is/may be possible.

empiricism only puts a barrier to the working of your mind. for instance, while playing chess i cant say if a certain move of mine would evoke a certain response which i want to avoid. and i definitely cant try it out, on the basis of chance, just to experience what my opponent does. the problems only get bigger when we move from the chess board to the planet. basically, if i havent experienced a situation before, reasoning takes priority.

humans are designed to reason but it is also quite easy to develop and maintain an erroneous perception. when somebody shares a profound theory we tend to agree with the person(a good reason for people remembering so many quotes by eminent people). its not true just because someone else is saying it!the craving to think 'out of the box' has left people not thinking at all...for u dont need to think out of the box, u just need to think!!!!....the concept of pragmatism is also quite absurd. how are we to know what knowledge would be of what use at what time....complex nos which were supposed to be useless at their initial stages provide beautiful solutions to a range of problems.

to finish this post all i have to ask u is-- are u one of those who believe that what u r is decided by what uve experienced?moulded by ur surroundings?the effect of a sequence of events...the whole cause and effect in my life BS?....because as far as i can remember we have changed our surroundings to what we desired...dont be the effect, be the cause...dont try thinking different---think!


PS-harry was just hallucinating, but hes ok now!!!! :P

Sunday, October 5, 2008


its been long since ive posted nethin here!...guess i had stuff to do..but now m bored of clickin, double clickin n pretendin that its crashed so i should move back to typing like i have opposable thumbs but no friggin fingers!!!


Saturday, December 22, 2007


aaah...m bak in pune...a place where i can safely say that i have time on me hands...n now that i do, i feel like wringin its bloody neck!!where was all this time when i needed it the most(referrin to the compres of course)..bak in colg i wud try to calm down by tellin myself--hey ive still got a day, the friggin wrld rotates once in that period so wats this stupid syllabus!!...

wid so much time waitin to be wasted one can just sit n wonder(fr those of u hu r new to wat i wonder....i sympathize wid u!)...

issue-1----why do sky divers wear helmets???!!!!!
i mean y??!!do they think that may be theres a chance of survivin after all!..

issue-2----how do these south indians speak so fast!!?
sumtime bak i was sittin next to this guy hu exhausted the entire kannad dictionary, in abt 5 mins, on the phone!!GOD HE WAS TALKIN!!! after sumtime the guy started talkin to me n durin our conversation he happened to ask me----"was he training in blore??"(i had just come bak from ma trip to blore to ma bros place) confusion i responded sayin--no he wrks there!!...the guy asked me the same ques again, only that this time he was louder n more animated..i didnt know how to reply to his query so i asked him wat training he was talkin abt...well the guy continued to ask me the ques over n over again...after abt 3-4 mins i understood his ques...the guy wanted to know--if it was raining in blore!!!sheesh....

issue-3(ma fav)--what does cupid do during rainy season??!!
its not just the possible explicit sightings but also the painful thunderstorms which might be a cause fr concern!!

issue-4---was woman(m talkin abt the all girly girly kind) brain a mistake of god or does he not exist??!!!
i guess this one wud remain unanswered!

issue-5---how do ppl reach the end of ma post!!
human will power continues to amaze me!!;)

to end this post id say when u r bored makin limericks can be fun...its just a form of poetry wid an AABBA rime scheme...heres an illustration

There once was a cretin named Jack
Whose buttcrack ran right up his back.
Said he with a leer,
"Toilet paper, my dear?
I use a whole roll at one whack."

ok may be i shud give a proper one too...

He clasps the crags with his crooked bird hands
On echoing cliffs he motionless stands
The distant sea crawls
He folds his wings, falls,
And like a thundermug he lands.
~Alfred "The Lord" Tennyson